Think in terms of basketball; a point guard and a center might have totally different roles, but are both necessary to win. If a center doesn’t seal the defense as his point guard goes in for a lay up, the team can’t make a basket. On the other hand, if a point guard chooses to dribble into defense instead of passing to a teammate who has an opening to score, he’s setting his team up for failure. All members of the basketball team must do their job, so that others can accomplish their goals, “...teamwork is an essential ingredient to success,” (Stein). The same goes for marriage.
Example of outstanding teamwork. Video compliments of NBA (YouTube channel)
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Example of poor teamwork. Video compliments of Jamie Fatout (YouTube Channel)
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The Helmers have troubles with communication, along with many other aspects of their marriage.
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In Henrik Ibsen’s A Doll House, Nora and Torvald Helmer coexisted rather than worked together in their relationship. They sought self gain which lead to the demise of their marriage. From the beginning the two didn’t agree on anything. When Torvald expressed that they didn’t the funds to spend on unnecessary Christmas items, Laura responds saying, “that doesn’t matter. We can always borrow,” (Act 1, Scene 1, Page 1093). This was, of course, after she’d bought loads of expensive gifts and decorations without her husband’s knowledge. Had they communicated and, “set specific goals to achieve together,” (Otiende), they would have functioned better as a pair and come to an understanding.
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Both husband and wife must work together in order to live a happy and triumphant life together. It’s a playbook of sorts. A point guard can’t be thinking only of self glorification and not about the his teammates; otherwise the team is bound to lose. This idea applies to relationships, “it is impossible to become unified when you have two separate visions,” (Otiende). If one person is focused only on themself, the couple-- as a unit-- is destined for failure.
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A good team will work together to set and accomplish a common goal.
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The Helmers’ relationship was artificial. They didn’t know how to work as a team or even care enough about one another to be successful as a pair. Nora kept a huge secret from Torvald. She borrowed a large amount of money from one of his employees without telling him. When Torvald discovered that they were in massive debt, he was outraged saying, “You have ruined all my happiness. My whole future-- that’s what you have destroyed,” (Act 3, Scene 1, Page 1146). This was the kind of selfishness that was toxic to the team; “if your teammate [spouse] ever gets in a bind...they need to know you have their back,” (Stein). Not once did he think about Nora, his family, or how they could get through the difficult situation. Just himself.
Torvald and Nora's love was fake. From the outside it looked almost like love, but after further study it was easy to see that it wasn't quite right. What seemed like small details made all the difference in the unreal and incomplete relationship.
After a major fight, where Torvald declared that Nora wasn’t allowed to see their children anymore, a letter arrived that forgave the family of their loan and interest (Act 3, Scene 1, page 147). The husband was so overjoyed that his debt was cleared and his reputation remained untarnished, that he took back everything that he said.
A group listens to a teammates ideas. It is important to respect other members of the team and not to put yourself first.
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Nora, however, realised that, like a team that's players’ don’t respect each other, her marriage was destined to fail due to the lack of mutual respect. She tried to explain her reason for leaving Torvald and the rest of her family, “you don’t understand me. And I have never understood you-- not till tonight...Doesn’t it occur to you that this is the first time that you and I, husband and wife, are having a serious talk,” (Act 3, Scene 3, Page 1148). Not only was respect an issue with their team, but communication also was a key factor which demolished it.
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Marriage is a team sport. Successful or not, it all comes down to players putting themselves aside for the common goal of the team. This decision is what leads to championships and ultimately to positive progress in any human relationship.